Even stranger, how I react to the response, "I'm okay."
"I'm fine," is, in general, off-putting.
I'm not much for pleasantries, canned speech, or pointless discussion. If you ask me how I'm feeling today, chances are, I'm going to tell you, "I'm really tired. I was up too late, and I haven't eaten very well today."
I may venture on a huge discussion if I had a particularly interesting night. Fair warning.
The point is--when I ask, I really want to know! Please, don't short change my interest in your life and well-being with fine or okay. I hope there is, at least, a personal follow-up.
I may, subconsciously, pay attention how many times I get a canned response to such a question. If I stop bothering to ask, it would likely be because I feel like our discussions are pointless, fruitless, or just plain boring. It isn't an act of pretense or pretentiousness; I tend to keep my mind occupied with concepts and ideas, and never bother to devote a lot of time to things I find little value in. It is personal, but it is solely devoted to improving the quality of both our lives.
If I seem somewhat intense or intimidating, imagine how wonderful it is that I bother to ask; I don't often pay attention to the world outside my door without a reason. I don't know about customs, colloquialisms, or social and cultural acceptability. It is not that I don't care about these things; these are not instincts, and I have not found any personal value in learning such things.
I still love you, but I know there is no point in saying anything but what I must say to you.
Abrupt ending.
It is all a matter of perception. I suppose it can all be taken more than one way.
ReplyDeleteI hope an open minded understanding makes you realize that I'm not socially awkward or socially uncaring, but rather I could be considered socially ignorant or even socially oblivious. I function quite well, but often miss things you might consider obvious.